You're home alone. The urge strikes. You head to the secret stash in the closet. Even though you know nobody's home, you look over both shoulders, twice.
Your heart rate quickens. You know what you're doing is wrong, but you rationalize: "One more indulgence is all, and then I'll get rid of it. I'll never buy it again."
You creep into the closet, move the pile of clothes, lift the floor board, and there it is, beckoning you forth. Nobody's going to find out. It's just you and the secret stash. A half-hour later, you're sprawled out on the bed, half conscious, realizing this won't be the last time, regardless of what you tell yourself.
You know what you did was repulsive, but you just can't stop eating these five disgusting foods we love!
Up first, care for a pastry that never gets old ... literally?
No. 5: Twinkies
Twinkies are the food the fat kid you made fun of in school ate. If the fat kid, for example, came to school with a broken arm, it was because he climbed the rack at 7-11 and fell reaching for a Twinkie. Even after you found out the fat kid had a metabolic imbalance that caused his portly disfigurement, you still told "his blood is made of Twinkie filling" jokes.
Of course you feel bad about that now because you also secretly enjoyed the yellow, spongy substance filled with white frosting-like cream, but were too embarrassed to tell anyone.
In fact, your high school lost the state championship basketball game, not because you had the flu, but because you inhaled 13 Twinkies before getting on the bus and then vomited incessantly.
And that Twinkie you left in the attic 13 years ago. It tasted just as good this morning as it would have then, especially after eating our next entry.
After you've gobbled down that Twinkie, hit the drive-thru for our next fast food delight ...
No. 4: Filet O' Fish
The five disgusting foods we love list would not be complete without a sampling from the world of fast food, the only industry that could produce a square fish-like item, covered in fatty batter, that contains very little to no nutritional value.
That's the Filet O' Fish sandwich, although it's uncertain whether the Filet O' Fish sandwich contains any actual fish. One 3-inch square does, according to Peertrainer.com, contain 400 calories and 18 grams of fat.
Since eating one Filet O' Fish automatically leads to eating three Filets O' Fish, you will have consumed 1,200 calories and 54 grams of fat (not counting the nine packets of tartar sauce the fake fish swims in), and you still won't be sure what it was you ate.
Scientists have agreed that the only way to make the Filet O' Fish sandwich better would be to cover it with nacho cheese.
Which leads us to our No. 3 selection ...
No. 3: Nacho cheese
It's orange. It's cheese flavored. You could eat a pound of it while watching football. It makes you really fat. That's about where the similarities end between nacho cheese and actual cheese.
There is no logical explanation for eating nacho cheese. It doesn't taste good. It's messy. It's unhealthy.
That hasn't stopped you, however, from fantasizing about swimming naked in a river of nacho cheese while nacho cheese nymphs swim by wearing tortilla chip bikinis. It also hasn't stopped you from secretly scraping the clear plastic bottom of a discarded nacho plate at a baseball game in order to get a sample of the delicious radioactive-orange colored substance.
The greatest moment in nacho cheese history occurred several years ago when Barney Jacklestomp used it as adhesive for a gingerbread house to leave out for Santa on Christmas Eve. Santa loves nacho cheese ... and cookies.